t-i-r-e-d

Realizing that I am the most myself when I am tired is a scary thing. I’m not very nice. Wrangling all of the children through a football day including team pictures, various arrival times and clothing changes while I have a migraine, and the dh is announcing the games, gives me a glimpse of just how short-tempered I really am. The things which come out of the mouth when under duress are those which most accurately represent where the heart truly rests. In those times, I find that I do not lean on the strength of God, but get snippy, irritable, and extraordinarily frustrated. I find myself spending altogether too much time concentrating on the negative as I attempt to spread my attention over too wide of an arc. Who am I?



Release

And still
there is more to say...
exhaustion
surrounds me like a fog.
My eyes
won’t close to today -
no resolution
too many unmended scars -
gashes,
re-opened by darkness.
I hide.
I cry in silence,
turning
my inner arms
and heart
away from caring.
I pray,
I do love you God.
I pray,
You terrify me Lord!
I pray,
help me feel Your love -
rapture,
the release of intimate
union
with You!