the insomniac tells all

That bated breath has likely turned your face all shades of purple. The interview as performed by Mary has finally arrived. You may now inhale. Good. Now exhale. Yes, yes, very good. Now get out those munchies and take the needed bathroom breaks because I don’t intend to stop along the way.

You will be stuck on a deserted island and have to pick two food items, one staple and one guilty pleasure. There is plenty of fresh water on the island already. What foods will you choose?

Now see, you have hit upon an embarrassing little secret here. I am a horribly picky eater. My husband is a picky eater, but in completely different food groups than me. Somehow, this genetically combined into a punnet square of children, 3 of whom are as picky as we are, 2 who are MUCH pickier (though I didn’t know that was possible), and 1 child who is willing to try almost anything once. That, of course, has nothing to do with what you asked.

I suppose for the staple I would have to pick N.Y. strip steak. Since this is an island, there are bound to be assorted fruits and crabs and such (see, I am well versed in Survivor 101 – Mark Burnett style). One guilty pleasure in food circles….ah. In the age before tooth sensitivity, it would have certainly been something chocolate. But alas, the effects of age are far reaching - oops, tangent again. Pepperidge Farm strawberry Verona cookies. I will be suffering Coca-Cola withdrawal, but there will be no one else there to endure the effects of my angst, so I will survive it.

Other than the Bible, what philosophy, book, idea has had the greatest affect on you?

Oh, that is indeed a difficult question. I tend to pick up little bits and pieces of things I read and drop them into my soul when they just ring true. Choosing just one from an entire lifetime of reading (which also necessitates actually remembering the sources) is going to be rough.

I would have to say that C.S. Lewis’s description of God being outside of time so that He can know quite well what our future holds - not because it is predestined, but because He sees all times at once. I believe that is in The Great Divorce.

Is it more essential to develop beliefs or gain knowledge?

You know I have taken the MBTI, and I know you have taken it. I bet you already know what my knee jerk reactionary answer will be. I will say it is more essential to develop beliefs. Those beliefs are then supported with knowledge (a la Psalm 111:10), but accepted upon faith even in the absence of true certainty. This is not to say that one should simply have beliefs in things merely to have beliefs. I can believe with all of my heart that my empty soda bottle is a submarine that will carry the rulers of the dust mite kingdom to the sunken isle of Atlantis, but that isn’t going to make it true.

In order for meaningful knowledge to come into the mind, the spirit has to have a starting point. If you went to the library to do a research paper, you wouldn’t research and write the paper without first picking a topic.

Blogging: Why do you blog and how has your perception of blogging changed (or not changed) since you began?

You’re a sneaky one, you are – working several questions into the guise of just one (on more than one occasion, I might add). Why do I blog? The answer is multifold. I had some online friends who blogged. The writer inside of me, the part of me that always needed to write, wanted to come out and play with them. That is part of the answer. But there is more depth to it than that. Following links on blogs that led to other links and other links led me sometimes to rants and outpourings of feeling that were in disagreement with my beliefs. I have no problem with that. What got to me was the fact that some of those disagreements were phrased as judgments of character. That was hard for me to take.

That was part of what worked me up to the point of being able to actually set about it - that and John Stanko – who is linked on my blog – preached one of his Purpose messages at our church, and I just felt like God was telling me that it was something I should do. I realize saying I felt like God was telling me to blog might come across as arrogant, but that is not how I mean it at all. In fact, quite the opposite is true. My faith is often a very quiet faith. Perhaps it shows to people in the real world more by my actions than my words much of the time. My very insecurity finds comfort in the anonymity of this medium. Ironically, I have never used my voice to lay down any of the thoughts which were brewing in my mind when I originally set out on this venture.

My perception of blogging has perhaps not changed so drastically. I have had online relationships with people for many years in other ways, so the community aspect of it did not take me by surprise in the least. I guess I would have to say that the things which took me the most by surprise were that I had anything to say at all, and paradoxically, that I regularly ran out of things to say. It also amazes me that anyone who didn’t already know me online actually reads my humble words (and, if they have gotten this far in this massive tome, they must actually find something enjoyable in it too)!



Name your favorites in the following categories:

Song: currently it would probably be MercyMe Undone

Movie: I have two categories in favorite movie (and usually more than one choice for each).
Favorite overall: Schindler’s List
Favorite for sheer re-watch-ability: Armageddon

TV Show: Right now? Geesh, probably Heroes (but most of my true favorites are no longer on the air)

Book: Ah, here I CANNOT pick just one. My favorites would likely be The Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Harry Potter books, A book entitled Notes to Myself by Hugh Prather, and many, many books which have touched me much more deeply than I could express. I really should have done the book meme.

Artist: I really just like what I like. I cannot say that I am well versed in art as a whole, but there are certain things which touch me. I would say Michelangelo is one artist who does that on a more consistent basis than many. I also love Norman Rockwell. I tend to be deeply touched by photography too.

How did you and your husband meet? A funny thing happened on the way to the forum….

Okay, so technically, we had sort of met before this event, but we hadn’t really talked, so we stick to this as the story of how we met. We were both working midnight shift in a fast food establishment which got robbed. We were locked into the refrigerator with all of the other on duty employees. This is how we discovered we had faith in common and began a friendship (during which we were both quite firmly attached to other people). We remained friends for about 5 years before he asked me to marry him. One would think five years would have been long enough for him to realize what he was getting himself into!

On an interesting side note, the bank I worked in got robbed the day we started premarital counseling with the pastor who was going to marry us. That’s some kind of legacy to hand down to the kidlets, don’t you think?

It has been nine years since your son died. How was atypical "before" different than atypical "now"?

Atypical was a lot more typical. The first thought in my mind when hearing a couple announce the newly discovered sex of their unborn baby was not one of fear that something would go wrong. I had a naïve belief that getting past the first trimester meant a baby would be coming home to live at the end of the journey. Although I always tried to see the deeper things in life, Caleb’s death helped me to really concentrate on not taking things for granted. This was especially true in the beginning, while the grief was still fresh. Everything fell into categories of deeper meaning or complete triviality.

My marriage improved because it was so much easier not to sweat the small stuff. My faith matured. Although I had experienced loss before, although I had felt deep connection to God before, now I knew for sure that He could carry me through even those moments in which I couldn’t muster up the will to take the next breath. He would hold my hand and lead me on the journey, no matter how long it took. He would bring people into my life who understood the truth that a lost child is still your child, even if you don’t get to raise him – who would remember the birthday of a baby that most find it easier to forget. He would cry with me, for He too lost a son.

And on that note of intermingled hope and sadness, the interview draws to a close.

The other portion of this interview compels me to extend the offer of my interview skills for your personal use. I have stated the methods in my previous interview should you care to take me up on it. If you slogged your way through this post, I offer you my heartfelt thanks (and a congratulatory muffin).

Sweet dreams.