nonsensical text

Monday, April 30, 2007

burnt ends



sleeping with bread




I have recently gotten far too much practice in the art of being drained of life. I don’t even have to do much to accomplish it. My arms often feel too heavy to lift. Even shuffling my feet along on the trek from kitchen to dining room feels like hours of jumping hurdles. Even though I am getting much better sleep than is usual for me, I never seem to feel well rested. Even thinking of what to make for dinner takes more mental concentration than I can muster.

Perhaps the aspect of this exhaustive draining that causes me the most strife is that I have a very difficult time allowing the blessings I have been given to flow out on those around me. The very quality of exhaustion makes me more prone to snapping at my children and accomplishing nothing around the house. This in turn leads to guilt. The guilt feeds in to an overwhelming inability to accomplish.

I know I have written about this before. It does seem to be a continuous cycle. I don’t know, maybe I just like to have something to complain about. But complaining does nothing to ward off the problem. In fact, all it seems to do is use up what little energy I have.

But, just like God provided manna in the wilderness, He provides small blessings for me on a day to day basis – little nourishing tidbits that serve to carry me through the rough spots.

Just when I think I can’t possibly keep my eyes open for another minute, a new trickle of energy carries me through the task at hand. Just when I am positive that my healthy emotions are petrified under a crusty layer of kool-aid mix, yogurt, and Elmer’s school glue, the warm sun and gentle breeze caress the skin of my cheek like the lips of a mother on the face of her newborn child.

Just when I think I can’t take another minute of the squabbling nature of sibling relations, I am privileged to witness the companionship side of the equation. My three youngest sit in a sandbox with the toddler next door and help her venture forth into a new era of discovery. All this, and no one got sand in their eye.

God is good – all the time.

All the time, God is good.

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4 Comments:

  • First let me say, I love pictures at the beach. I just took Marley there yesterday and didn't have the camera. It was such a bummer.

    You are so right: God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

    Amen!

    By Blogger Mary-LUE, at 8:11 PM  

  • Bone tired exhaustion is a tough thing to move past.
    But move we will.......or we'll be moved. One way or the other, eh?

    *sending warm thoughts*

    I'm reminded of Dora who said 'keep swimming, keep swimming'.
    G-d is good.
    Keep swimmin'.....

    By Blogger Mel, at 10:24 PM  

  • I just want to say that your SWB is just inspiring. I have often felt that way, but Im still finding it hard to turn to my faith sometimes...

    I agree with the others, God is truly good.

    meowminx

    By Blogger meowminx, at 12:27 PM  

  • Better late than never on the comments, so:

    Mary- I love beach pictures too (especially when the light and shadows are playing tag). I really need to find and figure out my camera...

    Mel- I would get a cart and have my kids push me around all day, but I am a bit too worried that they will invent the extreme sport of creative mommy crashing. ;)


    Meow- Thanks for stopping by! I am glad you joined the bakery.

    Turning to faith, yes, at times it is hard. For me, I have no problem turning to faith when something truly bad is going on, but during the normal times of erosive irritation, I have to have a constant conversation with myself, reminding me of the faith that has actually been there the whole time (I am just choosing not to notice it). I hope your battles are gentle ones and nothing major.

    To all - yes, God is truly good....

    -t

    By Blogger atypical, at 10:08 AM  

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