nonsensical text

Monday, March 05, 2007

in the secret....

My best friend is pregnant. As she talks to me about the cuteness of the children writing cards for their unborn baby sister, I smile with the vision that is brought to mind. But there is a quieter vision – the form of my inner self on bended knee crying out to God, “Please, Lord, don’t let these children lose their innocence!”

As I calendar watch, I feel a sense of relief as the 20 week mark passes – the invisible line drawn to distinguish between miscarriage and stillbirth should the unthinkable occur. I pray that is a demarcation that will have no bearing on her life. I know it is a very small statistical possibility. I am not consumed with fear, but the unwitting acknowledgement of the possibility is ever present with me, and will likely always be.

I look at the beautiful sonogram pictures – one so preciously framing the delicate, long fingers of a little girl in the making. I am in awe of the handiwork of God; I am grateful for this life.

There came a time in my subsequent pregnancies in which I surrendered to loving the child fiercely. If that had been the only time I had with those children, I didn’t want to feel that I had cheated them. This child, growing so strong in the womb of my closer-than-sister, this child I surround with my prayers and know that, no matter what, she will be held in the loving arms of God.

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2 Comments:

  • ::tears::

    word for word, i can so relate.
    ((hugs))

    By Blogger jouette, at 7:07 PM  

  • I don't know what to say here except that this is beautifully expressed.

    By Blogger Mary-LUE, at 11:13 PM  

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