the art of blogging dangerously

“It will be a grand scale comedy!” the inner voice pitched as I attempted, in vain, to concentrate on Good Eats. “People will bow at your door in utter amazement of your comedic stylings.”

“But, I’m not funny,” I replied. “Besides, one has to actually have subject matter in order to attempt a Hump Day Hmmm of the lighthearted variety.”

“Let me just set up the scene. C’mon, what harm could it do? There’s this kid, see, and he keeps forgetting to call his mother between school and band practice…”

“Doesn’t sound like much of a comedy to me.”

“Well that’s where the snake, the buffalo, and the band of singing hamsters come into it.”

“Will you just leave me alone?” I muttered as I trundled off to check my e-mail.

Oh look, my long lost friend, Hank, has some performance enhancing tips for me! I’d better put the kids back in bed. One would think it would eventually sink in that I am going to KEEP putting them back in no matter how many times they climb out.

shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, clomp, clomp, clomp (steps, you see)

“Pssst. Pssst. Hey, look here. If you aren’t going for that idea, how about this one: There’s this mom, see, and she’s trying to figure out how to make her kids stay in bed. So she goes out and gets a mule, two geese, and a bucket of spiders…”

“Just go away, won’t you?”

shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, ow (sooner or later I will STOP banging my shoulder on that door frame)

A little blog reading, that’s what I need. I will NOT go to Julie’s site to be reminded of the assignment. I will not, I will not, I will not. Oh look, Julie has a new post….

I might as well just go to bed.

shuffle, shuffle, shuffle

Mmmmm pillows, soft blankets.

“Pssst. Pssst. Hey, listen, it’s obvious you have taste. No mere trifle is going to satisfy you. Just your luck, I’ve come across something that will completely win you over. There’s this woman, see, and she can’t remember whether she locked the front door…”

It’s a sad fact of life that you’re rarely funny when you actually try.