the thin purple line (updated)

Every trait has a flip side, kind of like a coin. Sometimes I am convinced that our first thirty years are spent trying to discipline the negative side of those traits so that the positive may shine more brightly.

For instance, I like to look at both sides of every issue. I try to see where a person is coming from even when their views disagree with mine. I like to weigh the pros and cons of everything, but often end up with equal piles because of my ability to keep the insight going. Therefore, the flip side of my coin would be indecisiveness.

Insomnia hit again last night. I tried to go to sleep, really I did, but I ended up sitting in front of late night TV and watching Dr. Phil. It is a show I have only seen a few times (since it is on after 2 AM). A mother was on who basically wanted help in backing off from her son while he is trying to do homework. She acknowledged she had a problem with pressuring him and nagging, and getting into his face with her anger. Dr. Phil, though, felt that she wasn’t admitting she had a problem because there were a few quotes her family supplied, and she was having a hard time believing she used certain words. She felt like he was portraying her wrongly. He used that to intimate that she was not admitting she had a problem. Cue camera shots of an audience looking on with shock and pity. Ah, the poor momma just won’t admit what a monster she is.

Dr. Phil continued to assert that she was not admitting to the problem, and every minute of show between the commercials was basically a rephrased version of the first five minutes - the flip side of the coin. You see, the power of persuasion which makes him so good at what he does has a flip side too. The negative side of persuasion is manipulation. Sometimes the line between the two is very thin. I believe he crossed that line in this show. The mother felt it too, and was trying to express it to him. She did eventually stop arguing with him about it, and let her comments peter out to the simple, “I completely agree,” for the sake of moving on and getting help for her and her son.

I have a very active imagination. For the most part, it has served me well, but there is a downside even to this. I am able to imagine all sorts of possible outcomes. Worrying about and concentrating on those possibilities can take my eyes off of the God who is offering me the support needed to go through the one real outcome in any given situation.

Today is Friday and I have two friends visiting doctors for completely different reasons. One of those appointments is a standard first OB appointment, and will likely yield no new information. Still, considering my history of several very early miscarriages (a history she shares) and one stillbirth, all things OB have the power to make me very nervous. The other appointment is with a neurosurgeon to check on Gladys (or the map, as I like to call her), the happy little resident deep inside of my friend.

So for today, I would like to ask permission to turn my imagination off. Thank you.

As expected, the OB appointment was the standard, waste of time first appointment. The brain doc appointment wasn't so bad either. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers for my friends.